More about Millie ...
Gran was ten years old when her mum died. Her dad married Annie Croft just after she had turned eleven, and this is the lady that our Gran's children knew as 'Gran'. This must have been very hard for little Millie. I cannot remember ever meeting Annie Croft but I do remember when she died in 1977. I actually remember crying in bed one night; a gentleman who lived across the road from us had also died around about the same time, and I remember crying to my mum ‘why is everyone dying?’
Anyway, Gran’s life continued, and we can carry on learning about her life by means of some memories of her mum that Auntie Shirley has kindly written for me.
I know a little about my mum’s life after her mother died. Of course, she must have been very unhappy and confused. Her stepmother (who I called Gran) moved in very shortly after her mother’s death. I don’t know how soon she and Grandad married, but I don’t think it was very long. Gran already had a little girl, Sybil, and others came along quite quickly; Dennis, Beryl, Pat, Barbara (who mum adored) and lastly Alan who was in fact only about six months younger than I was, so mum did not really know him that well.
As far as I know, mum went to school in Boughton Malherbe and was happy there. She was bright and enjoyed learning. She must have been about 14 when she left which I think was the legal leaving age at that time. Again, and I’m not sure, but I think both she and Arthur could have gone on to further education but with many younger brothers and sisters and not much money it would have been out of the question.
Shirley, Doreen & Roger
(abt. 1945)
Anyway, mum went into service instead, which she hated, so Gran (her stepmother) found her a place working in the tearooms in Lenham. I don’t think she got on with her stepmother at all well, but she can’t have been that bad. She obviously recognised how unhappy mum was in service and did her best in the circumstances. Working in the tearooms turned out to be a very good move for mum, in more ways than one. It was while she was there, she met my dad and, presumably, fell in love. I’m thinking she was probably about 15 or 16. I don’t know what her parents thought about dad; probably not a lot as he was, by all accounts, a bit of a rascal.
Bell House, Boughton Malherbe - a converted school house once owned by Tom Baker (Dr Who)
Lenham Tea Rooms
Dad found work in Surrey – I don’t know how or why for sure. He went to Ripley in Surrey and worked at Norcons where they made huge concrete pipes. Mum eventually followed him. They both found lodgings in Polesdon Lane, Ripley; Dad with the Colliers and mum in a house a couple of doors away. Norcons was based behind the houses so dad did not have far to go to work. Mum found work in Woking; a shop selling bread and cakes. I don’t really know when this was, about 1934-35 perhaps. She must have been at the shop for quite some time as she became very close friends with another girl there. They remained very close for the rest of their lives. We always knew her as Auntie Vi and she was a truly lovely person.
At about the same time mum met dad, I think she also met George. She had a flirtation with both but obviously dad won; perhaps he was a bit more of a challenge. I always imagine George as being a bit staid, unexciting, but I could be doing him an injustice. I only remember meeting him once, just after dad died, and we took an instant dislike to one another. I will say he remained loyal to mum and, so far as I know, he never married.
​
Mum and dad married in December 1936, when I was already more than just a twinkle in dad’s eye. Mum had moved into the Collyers house and there they stayed until after the war. In between she had my sister Doreen and brother Roger, it must have been a tight squeeze. Doreen and I shared a single bed, and mum and dad in a double, with Roger in a cot fitted alongside them.
Norcon Pipe Works, Ripley, Surrey (abt.1950)
1939 Register [extract] - showing Mrs Collyer and two children, including Bobby who kicked the football at Shirley whilst she stood in the puddle and another child who is hidden due to the privacy of living persons. Mr Collyer is on the previous page. Grandad is also on there, working at the pipe works and also a Surrey police reserve, along with our Gran Millie, who is pursuing her domestic duties - we all know how she loved to clean and polish! Auntie Shirley is hidden, but Auntie Doreen is there. My dad is not born until three years after the register is taken, and Uncle Colin comes along later.
It was during the time that Gran lived with the Collyers that she found fame. It was just after the war and she was still living in the home described by Shirley above; with Shirley sharing a bed with her sister, and baby Roger in the cot alongside his parent’s bed; the whole family sleeping together in one bedroom. They were renting rooms in a house and they had two altogether; the other used for living, cooking, playing, washing and everything bar sleeping. From what I have been told, there was a programme on the radio at the time called ‘Woman’s Hour’ which Gran must have listened to. Around about 1944/45 there were a series of talks based around ‘difficult children’ and advice was being given on the radio on how to bring up your children. Something must have been said that incensed our Gran; she was furious. I think she must have written a letter of complaint into the radio. Anyway, something she wrote must have grabbed somebody’s attention as whatever she said, or wrote, was published in a book where she appears as the only ‘lay person’ contributing to the advice. All the other writers published in the book are doctors, psychotherapists or psychologists. If you want to read this article and see what Gran had to say then follow the link below.
Taken in Bognor Regis (abt.1947/8)
Auntie Shirley's Memories of Childhood
I only have a very vague memory of both grandads. My grandad on mum’s side, I am not even sure if the old man I recall was him or not. On Dad’s side my one memory is of him taking me down the garden to see the rabbits in their hutches; I suspect they were kept as food not pets. Both grandmothers I well remember. Dad’s mum was plump, motherly and very quietly spoken. Mum’s mum (step mum) was much different, lively and not at all motherly. I remember her much more clearly as we spent quite a lot of time with her. She was very good too. Doreen and I, when Roger was born, and later when mum became very ill, she looked after us and I loved her. I never minded staying with her. I think we went most years, even during the war. I have a vague memory of being in a coach travelling through London and seeing skull and cross-bone signs on building sites. Dad went cherry picking every year, it was a holiday for him. He would stay with his parents in Lenham, and we would stay at Gran’s with mum in Maidstone. I loved it. Alan and I got on very well and I remember running along the alleys between the houses with him and his friends. It was all very different to Ripley. My childhood was very happy and carefree apart from the time when mum was very ill not long after Roger was born. We stayed with Gran in Maidstone; it was probably only the second time we had stayed there without mum. Of course, I did not know why we were left there; adults did not as a rule tell children much, but I knew something was not right. However, mum recovered, and all was well.
1939 Register [extract] - Grandad's mum and dad (Edward John Stedman senior and Annie Smith) living at No.5 Faversham Road council houses, Maidstone, Kent - this is likely where Auntie Shirley and Auntie Doreen would have visited. Whoever completed the entry has made a mistake as Edward was born 1881 and not 1880. Walter William is one of their sons; there are another two people in the house at the time but their details are hidden due to privacy laws of living persons.
Going to Church was a way of life when mum and dad were young, and I expect they went, but I am only guessing. We only went to Church at Easter and probably Christmas, and then only with the school. However, we did have to go to Sunday school. All I remember really was being bored. The school was run by two sisters; spinsters whose fiances had been killed during the first world war; a very common story.
Christmas was always spent at home; we never went away. It was exciting of course. I remember going with dad to collect holly and ivy. He would climb the tree and cut armfuls of it. There was always a tree as well, but this was acquired after dark so obviously not shop bought! Dad loved Christmas; it was always him who put up the decorations. I remember one year when we were at Boughton Hall he strung cotton wool on cotton and hung it in the window to look like snow. He also lined the mantle piece with cotton wool which proved to be a mite disastrous. Doreen and I thought we would light the candles on the tree. Unfortunately, we somehow set fire to the cotton wool! Doreen, being the more sensible of us, ran to get mum and dad. I ran to the bathroom to get water. All I could find to carry it in was a tooth mug, not a lot of use! All was well in the end, not much damage was done. I suppose we must have been in trouble, but if we were punished, I don’t remember. Anyway, punishment usually meant being sent to bed, which I never minded. It meant I could get on with whichever book I happened to be reading, so long as I kept quiet about it. I don’t ever remember being smacked; mum was very strict although dad was quite a softie.
​
​
Boughton Hall, Send, Surrey - once a grand family home, during World War II the Ministry of Defence used it to house Italian prisoners. After the war it provided temporary accommodation to victims of the blitz. Gran and her family rented rooms here sometime after this.
Dad had quite a lot of jobs over the years. During the war, when we were still at Collyers, he was at Norcons, and was also a Special Constable which he loved. Once we moved to Boughton Hall after the war, the Specials were disbanded. Dad worked for a while I think at the sand and gravel pits, also in Polesdon Lane. Later he had a job making breeze blocks and also he worked at a tannery in Send. These jobs meant he was working in very dusty conditions which did not do a lot for his health. He was also a heavy smoker and had a nasty cough for years which turned out to be lung cancer. He died when I was 18. Mum, during this time, had a few jobs as a cleaner. We used to go with her sometimes.
One of the letters that Ted (Grandad) wrote to Millie (Gran) when he was in hospital with lung cancer
I have hardly any memories at all of VE day. I think there was a party and games on Ripley Green; races etc. I don’t think I enjoyed it much. We were persona non grata in Ripley and never really fitted in. I know mum disliked Ripley and I think we picked up on that. Once we moved to Boughton Hall in Send she seemed much happier. I know she loved Boughton Hall and got on well with other families living there, though she was not much of a socialiser, quite the opposite in fact.
I’ve already mentioned holidays, but they were always to Lenham to see dad’s mum. We did not visit cousins, but I vaguely remember seeing one or two. Mum’s half-sisters and brother Les were married and all had children, but we did not visit them. The only cousin we knew well was Lesley Anne. She was Sybil’s daughter and we saw her quite a lot.
Mum’s full brothers were Arthur and Les. Arthur was about two years older than mum, and Les two years younger. Arthur disappeared when he was about 17 or 18 and did not resurface for twenty years. Mum was, I suspect, very upset and when he did come back, I think she took quite a long time to really forgive him. There was never a reason given for why he had gone. One story I heard was that his stepmother (Gran) owed a lot of money at the grocer’s shop in Lenham. Arthur worked for them, and apparently, was expected to pay off her debts. Even if this were true, it seems a very flimsy reason for vanishing for twenty years. We, his nephews and nieces, were all very fond of him. He was a lovely man; very gentle and extremely interesting to talk to. He delighted in ‘treating’ us and, later, his great nieces and nephews. He told me a little of his time during the war.
Uncle Arthur, his friend Bob, Edna (Les's wife) and Uncle Les [possibly late 1950's]
Auntie Shirley did not write this bit, but she told me that Uncle Arthur and his friend Bob were working on a farm in Guernsey just before the war started. They were advised to get off the island because the Germans were going to invade, but they kept putting it off. Eventually they were told that the last boat was leaving for the mainland and if they did not manage to get on it then they would be stuck for the duration. They decided to go and were fortunate enough to reach the boat just in time. Had they missed it, who knows what might have happened to them. This must have been June 1939 as evacuation ships from Guernsey stopped on June 23rd. Anyway, Uncle Arthur must have turned up at home again sometime after the war. If he disappeared for twenty years during his teens, it must have been the 1950s when he reappeared.
​
Auntie Shirley finishes by saying...
I did not know Les at all really when I was younger. I remember him visiting once with his future wife Edna. They made a lovely couple. He was (I thought) very handsome and she was pretty. He had a very active war and was one of the many rescued by the little ships at Dunkirk. I think he may have served in Africa, but I do know he was in Burma in 1943 fighting the Japanese. He took part in the very decisive Battle of Kohima and was one of the very few to survive.
Les sent a postcard of himself in uniform to his sister Millie in February, 1943. At the time he would have been fighting the Japanese in Burma.
If anyone does want to know more about Les Crouch, then I managed to find a series of interviews with survivors of World War II on the Imperial War Museum website. It will not let me put a link on here, but they can be found on google. He talks about his rescue from Dunkirk, amongst other tales. He spent a full day lined up waiting for space on a boat, scattering for cover when the Germans came over strafing their bullets, and reforming the line when they had gone. He remembers climbing on board, being sent below deck, and falling asleep immediately. The next thing he knew he woke up in Margate. He was a very young man in his early twenties, just a baby in my eyes. If you are interested in hearing his tales but are unable to find them online, send me a message and I will point you in the right direction. There are six half hour interviews with Great Uncle Les. Considering everything he went through and saw during World War II he comes across as a most humble and modest gentleman and I am proud to have him in my family history.